Advice to Female Crew

‘Global Hitchhiker’ on How To Avoid Being Assaulted at Sea

Matt Ray Apr 1   ∙   Guest post

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This is how the author describes himself: “A sailor, storyteller and cybersecurity tinkerer. He left the corporate grind to circumnavigate the globe by hitchhiking on sailboats—sailing 30,000 miles across oceans without owning a boat from 2016 to 2019.” This is an excerpt from his book on the subject, Global Hitchhiking. He also publishes a Substack newsletter.

Why am I, a man, writing about crewing safety considerations for women?

Because while I can’t speak from experience as a woman at sea, I’ve met many who have crewed extensively and shared their stories with me. This chapter is in part, a compilation of those stories and ideas. I’ve also seen firsthand how critical it is to pick the right boat, and the right skipper for your passages.

If you have any doubts about how dangerous it is for women, crewing on sailboats, just google “sexual assault on a sailboat” and you’ll find plenty of articles on this topic. Of special note is this one:

She Volunteered To Crew. The Captain Sexually Assaulted Her Mar 19 Read full story

It’s clear from many firsthand accounts that women face elevated risks of being assaulted, sexually or otherwise, in a crewing situation.

This chapter shares tips and insights to help avoid risky crewing situations and sail with confidence and safety. Many of these come from women crewmembers and sailors that I know, personally.

If you’re a woman who’s been crewing and have thoughts or additional insights-especially if they contradict what is written-I’d love to hear from you. This is a conversation, not a conclusion.

Like Dating, But Not Romantic Dating

As I’ve said in previous chapters, crewing is like online dating: It’s about finding a good match in vibe, skillset and destination.

Unfortunately, some male skippers misuse crew listings as a disguised search for romantic companionship. I’ve heard from women who joined a boat believing they were signing on as just crew, only to find out the skipper had different ideas.

It’s uncomfortable. It’s inappropriate. And it’s something you need to be prepared to detect and avoid.

I once crewed with a man from Tahiti to Tonga whom I didn’t click with at all. By day two, we were clashing. At one point, I suspected he might get violent with me. I had nowhere to go. It took us a week to get to Bora Bora because of some stops we made along the way. When we arrived, I jumped off the boat and snorkeled from boat to boat trying to find another ride. Unfortunately, I couldn’t find one.

It was one of the worst stretches of my entire circumnavigation and I say that as someone who usually gets along great with most people.

Now imagine as a woman, that tension isn’t just personality conflict but unwanted attention, power dynamics or boundary-crossing behavior. The stakes are higher. The discomfort is more threatening. And the need to be prepared more vital.

Respect increases when you can demonstrate sailing knowledge. While it won’t guarantee safety, it can shift the power dynamic. Women with certifications and hands-on experience report being treated with greater respect than those without.

Ways to level up:

• Take ASA or RYA courses
• Practice sailing locally before crewing with others abroad
• Learn basic maintenance and seamanship
• Join a yacht club or racing team for hands-on experience

Safety in Numbers

One of the best ways to reduce risk is simple: Don’t crew alone with a skipper. Having at least one other person onboard creates natural accountability. It diffuses tension and discourages bad behavior.

Even one extra person helps break toxic dynamics. Group energy keeps people on better behavior . You’re never fully isolated if something goes wrong

Or you can crew on rallies. Rallies are organized sailing events with multiple boats and built-in oversight. A rally can have 20-30 boats, all going together around the world.

They’re safer because:

• There’s a community around you
• There’s a support team in charge of the schedule and assignments for the entire group. If an issue arises, they can help facilitate a solution. It is easier to jump to another boat, if needed.
• Boats are vetted, better funded, and tend to be more prepared

Rally crew/hitchhikers don’t usually pay for rally fees; boat owners do. So, you can get the safety of structure without additional cost.

One sailor I know, did most of her circumnavigation with the ARC Rally. She never had a bad crewing experience, thanks in large part to that structure.

I’m not naively saying that sexual harassment and assault can’t occur on these types of organized events. There are plenty of opportunities where things like this can happen, just like they happen everywhere else in the world. But you aren’t sitting in the middle of the ocean with one other person, completely isolated from any outside assistance. The risk is more easily mitigated.

Crew with Women Skippers

Women skippers offer not only sailing mentorship but a space where you don’t need to second-guess motives. A couple of great examples:

• Dana Paredes, who has been cruising the Caribbean for 13-plus years on her Dolphin catamaran, Vida Libre. She’s on Facebook.
• Linda Lindenau, a sailing instructor who’s all-women “rolling class” is continuously circumnavigating. Learn more at her website.

I realize that women on women assault occurs, but statistically it is less likely to happen. If you have other women skippers to recommend, please reach out in the comments section below.

Sailing Communities

There are several Facebook groups where women connect, share stories, and find crew or skippers:

• Women Who Sail
• Sailing and Cruising Women
• Women Who Own Boats (Without Men) These communities have unique insights, support, and opportunities. They also act as an informal vetting ground for boats and skippers. If there’s a known boat or skipper, these groups might know about them.

Personal Safety Devices

The challenge with weapons at sea, is every foreign country has different rules regarding them. Most countries will confiscate them upon arrival. Especially guns, mace, tasers, etc. However, here is a list of personal safety devices you can and should consider having with you on a sailboat:

• . Personal alarm device (130+ db) to attract attention. Great for enclosed spaces like cabins or marina docks.
• Whistles—can be worn as a necklace. Also, an essential part of boat safety devices
• High Lumen Flashlight with Strobe—essential boat gear. Most have headlights, but handheld flashlights can be used as blunt weapons in addition to the lights
• Door wedge alarms-placed under cabin doors to ensure privacy while sleeping
• Padlock or locking latch for cabin safety.
• Personal Satellite Communicator with SOS/ GPS Tracker – sends location and SOS message, especially good for remote passages. Set up discrete safety word/phrases for check- ins with friends ahead of time.
• Tactical Pen or Keychain Kubotan – not considered a weapon in most countries
• Folding pocketknife or multitool.

There’s no single way to ensure complete safety at sea -but there are layers of protection you can add. You should consider carrying something to even the odds in your favor. Consider something from the list above.

Research

Research what is allowed or not allowed at sea or in the countries you will be visiting.

You should also learn more about the countries you will be visiting. What are their laws regarding women and assault? Many foreign countries espouse less rights for women than men. Reporting an assault may not be as effective in those countries. Avoid countries like this if there is a concern.

Attempt to get references for your skipper, especially references from other women. Consider doing a background check on them, to make sure there is no violence in their past. Once again, this is not a guarantee if it comes back clean, but it is a proactive step you can take for your multi-layered approach to safety. It will be time well spent if it comes back with unexpected information, and you avoid sailing with them.

Stand by for a Q&A with Matt Ray about his book.